Chrysler town and country

Chrysler hands hardened by an endless cycle of boom and bust, of German control and now the private equity ownership of Cerberus long ago learned to pay attention to what management does, not what it says. But mention the “B” word in this town, especially after the Delphi Corp. workout and all it wrought, and even the most clueless minds will get focused real quick. The mother of all workouts They should, but not just inside Chrysler.

With its truck-heavy portfolio, mediocre product line, scant evidence of alternative powertrains and little global reach, am I the only one wanting to ask a simple question of the masters of the universe running Chryslerberus: OK, smart guys, now what? Cerberus relieved former parent Daimler AG of a company that devours capital just as a) the U.S. car market was tanking because b) the housing market was imploding and c) gas prices were north of $3 a gallon.

Then a Democratic Congress and Republican White House delivered an “energy” bill that essentially a) equates Big Auto with Big Tobacco and b) requires reworking the product plan and c) demands massive investments in or more partnerships on engines and alternative technologies. Welcome to the arena, gentlemen.

If all of the scope of this slide was “assumed,” as Cerberus COO Mark Neporent intimated in a statement, how come dumping assets to raise cash is Job 1 in Auburn Hills? Cerberus rolls in the barrel The back-channel buzz on Nardelli & Co. is that they have little patience for the old Chrysler — circa Lutz & Eaton or Zetsche, Bernhard and LaSorda. They all had their chance to make Chrysler sustainably profitable, the thinking goes, and they all failed. Now it’s Cerberus’s turn.